Okay
by SakuMulti
Summary: An accidental run in leads to an important conversation about a subject Lee had been avoiding since the war had finished. -This was supposed to be romance but it turned into more of a feelings jam


"I hope you're actually doing okay."

The sentence had caught him off guard, leaving him to turn and look at the other ninja.

He'd been training late, making one last lap around the village when he'd nearly ran into Sakura as she left the hospital for the night. Exchanging a quick apology, he'd brushed off her questions of how he'd been doing with a quick 'Fine' as he readied himself to continue his lap. He would've loved to spend hours talking with her, but he had to keep to his training so as to not shirk his duties.

But, as he'd readied to continue on, Sakura's words had stopped him.

… He was doing okay… wasn't he?

Letting out a nervous laugh, he rubbed at his neck absentmindedly.

"Of course I am, Sakura! I'm in top shape!" He announced proudly, making an attempt to hide his hesitation. However, even he could tell his usual enthusiasm wasn't present in his voice.

As he watched her, he noted the way her brows knit together, the way her eyes crinkled a bit as she frowned. If anything, it had caught him even more off guard. As he was about to speak, ask if perhaps she was alright, she broke his train of thought as she spoke up.

"Dammit, Lee… you know that's not what I meant." Even as she closed her eyes in what he'd imagined to be frustration, he couldn't find it in himself to really think about the answer she seemed to want. He couldn't help it as his body slumped slightly, a faint sense of guilt settling in himself for…. lying? Was he lying when he had said he was okay?

Averting his eyes, he had missed Sakura's movements as she moved closer to him, hesitantly reaching for his hand.

"Lee… come with me right now. There's… something I want to talk to you about."

Were this any other time, he was certain he'd be over the moon. Sakura? Asking to talk to him and take his hand? The thought was something he'd dreamt about for years. However, with the way their conversation had been going, he felt the usual sparks inside him simmer as a feeling a dread grew within him.

Closing the distance between his and Sakura's hands, he popped on a big smile. "Lead the way, Sakura!"

He was still elated at the contact, but he couldn't ignore the way Sakura's frown stayed in place as she sighed, little reaction from her otherwise but a secure squeeze around his hand as she started on a slow walk in some direction.

Whatever it was Sakura intended to talk to him about, she didn't elaborate on it during their walk, leaving an almost uncomfortable silences to settle in between them had it not been for the chirps of crickets around them. As they continued on, Lee's apprehension of the future conversation grew. He thought of situations where Sakura announced she was leaving Konoha, where she had some important mission that she'd never return from, or if she was sick. There were also the thoughts that nagged at him about what if something had happened to one of their friends and he'd been left out of the loop or other such disastrous situations his brain built in the silence.

Finally, after what seemed to have been a long, arduous walk- which, in reality, had only taken under ten minutes- they'd finally stopped to sit at some bench on a road he'd passed by plenty of times during his training. He couldn't tell if he was relieved or not as dread continued to build in him as Sakura brought her hand back to herself to sit in her lap, leaving him to nervously clutch his thighs as he awaited whatever news he was sure she was going to deliver. After a few more moments of silence, Sakura turned to face him, causing him to straighten his back in response.

"Lee… we really need to talk about… Neji and Guy…"

Ah.

That's what this was about.

Resisting the urge to bite his lip in response, Lee averted his eyes once more focusing on the cracks in the stone road before them.

"What about them? Guy is recovering and Neji has been… has been laid to rest." He hadn't expected it to be so hard to talk all of a sudden, but he felt like if he had been looking at Sakura, he wouldn't have been able to speak at all.

"That's exactly the _point_ , Lee, what about them? How are you _feeling_ about all of this?" He noted the concern in her voice as she spoke up, bringing his hands together in front of him as he absentmindedly rolled his thumbs around each other.

He had to think about it for a second, trying to compile his thoughts into a proper sentence even as he felt Sakura's expectant eyes on him.

"... I guess… I guess I'm feeling how you'd expect? I miss training with Guy-Sensei and I miss… N-... Ne-" having thought out his response beforehand, he was struggling to understand just why he was finding it so hard to talk together, not even noticing how his hands clenched together tightly as he continued staring at the ground. He bit his lip, ashamed, he thought, about being unable to answer as simple a question as 'how was he feeling?'

When he felt arms encircling him all of a sudden, he looked over in surprise to Sakura as she leaned her head on his shoulder. His hands had even loosened their grip on each other in response to the shock.

"Lee… I know… we all miss Neji." As she said that, she gave him a tight squeeze that left him holding his breath. He couldn't tell if it was from the fact it was her hugging him or if it was due to what she said, but he found it difficult to breathe even as she pulled away ever so slightly to try and look at him. "But we're all also worried about _you_. You were teammates… I can't even say I know what it feels like even if I want to say I do.

"And… because of that I just want to make sure you're _okay_. No ones seen or heard you talk about this with anyone… When… Sasuke left, I had Ino and the rest of our friends to talk to, but… I asked Tenten and she says you haven't talked to her about any of this."

He couldn't deny that, and he couldn't stop the way his eyes grew blurry as he tried not to blink. If he blinked, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stop the onslaught of thoughts and emotions that were threatening to spill out.

"Guy-Sensei said… not to cry when Ne-Neji die-died… To remember what he'd e-entrusted to us, instea-ad…" He was shaking now as he but his lip, struggling to speak evenly while his brows scrunched together as he desperately tried to hold back the tears building up in his eyes.

"Lee… it's okay to cry… This… This is a tough thing to handle…" As she spoke, he noticed the way her voice quivered too, but the reassurance of her words and the arms around him left his defense crumbling as he bent over, leaning his arms on his legs and burying his face in his hands. He hated the tears that started to fall as he shuddered and tried to hold back sobs.

As he cried, Sakura tightening the hug around him, he felt her start to shake herself as he finally let himself say what was on his mind.

He _missed_ Neji, he hated having not been able to do anything to save him, he blamed himself for his death and Guy-Sensei's injuries despite there having been nothing he could do, and he just _wished_ things would've gone differently.

As this went on for who knows how long, he leaned more and more into Sakura's hold, leaning against her as he finally wrapped his arms around her too.

He wasn't sure the last time he had cried -had _allowed_ himself to cry- but, as his cries finally started to slow and his breathing started evening out, he couldn't deny the difference he felt within himself. Something felt lighter, if even only slightly.

Continuing to lean into Sakura's hold, he was almost ready to fall asleep, having not noticed the way Sakura had started to run her hand over his head until just now as he reveled in the peace it instilled in him after this ordeal.

Despite his desire to stay like that for as long as Sakura would allow, he had to force himself to pull away from her comforting hold. It was late when they'd run into each other and who knows how late it was now after all of that. She was bound to have another shift at the hospital in the morning and he knew she needed all the sleep she could get.

So, slowly, he worked his way away from her, not quite straightening himself as he stared at her as he stewed over his thoughts. After all, after something like this, how did you address it? Did you say a simple 'good night' before parting ways?

Even as he thought in silence, Sakura just left him be, a faint questioning look on her equally tear stricken face. He wished he could have comforted her the way she had for him just now, but he was thankful for the time to collect himself

"I… thank you, Sakura. I think… I really needed that." It was simple and not all of what he'd wanted to say in thanks, but, as the turbulence of the situation left him drained, it was all his tired mind could put together to form a half decent thanks in response to her actions.

"It's no problem, Lee. Just… in the future, if you _ever_ need someone to talk to, know that me and the others are always there for you, alright?" Taking one of his hands in hers again and giving it a reassuring squeeze, she smiled faintly even as her brows turned up in concern.

At her words, he fought down the resurgence of his swaying emotions. He had focused so hard on ignoring the whole thing, he'd in turn ignored his friends as they tried to address the situation.

Nodding as he wiped at his eyes, hoping to clear the last of whatever tears were leftover after that bout of crying, and smiled faintly.

"Okay… the next time I feel like this I… I will come to you instead of ignoring it like I have been." Those words had been hard to say, but the way Sakura smiled at him in response, it seemed worth the struggle.

"Thank you, Sakura… For all of this…"

"It's no problem, Lee. I'm just glad you're feeling better."

And so, as they said their goodbyes and decided to meet up again in a few days to talk about some more things, Lee couldn't help the ever growing admiration and gratefulness he'd had for Sakura and his friends. Truly, he would have to find a way to properly repay her someday.

And, perhaps, a start on that repayment could be an honest response to her questions of how he was doing.


End file.
